It Wasn't Just Me
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read
It wasn't just me. It wasn’t my fault. I am not alone
"I Gave My Truth and Gained My Voice, Purpose & Tribe: An International Women’s Day Reflection"
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WARNING: This article reflects on trauma and survivors' experiences of breaking silence.
Please read with care and take the space you need.
The moment I broke my silence publicly
Was the day I realised it wasn't just me.
I remember being on Facebook…
Triggered.
Heart pounding.
Convinced that exposing the “deep, dark, dirty” secrets..
I'd lose everything.
I feared the worst…
My world crumbling.
And that it was my fault.
For too long silence had me bound.
It had become my safety net.
A part of me. My identity
I learned to survive inside it.
To smile through the pain.
To build walls – distance of safety.
To lash out at anyone who came too close..
To "bupse" him before he could use and abuse me.
To not look within..
The pain. Shame. Anger. Disgust.
It was all too much!
Felt like no way out..
Even though I’d tried.
I was lost with the mask silence gave me.
The rage from the wound inside me.
And a sense of normality from the harm wrapped around me.
But that day was different..
Something had transformed in that moment.
And it was bursting to come out.
No longer willing to be caged.
So I spoke.
Without overthinking
Without a second thought.
All I knew..
It felt right.
And I was ready.
Then something unexpectedly happened.
Instead of my world crashing,
I felt held.
By survivors across the globe.
DMs. Likes. Comments.
"Me too"
Pieces of their stories shared with me.
For the first time, the light broke through the cracks.
The wool lifted from my lens.
And I received three powerful insight:
It wasn’t just me.
It wasn’t my fault.
I am not alone.
Those words changed everything.
They lit the fire in me.
They helped me see differently,
Find my tribe.
And become the woman I am today.
Now, as I reflect on this International Women’s Day,
I see that moment even more clearly.
I gave my truth and gained my voice.
I gave up fear and gained my power back
I gave myself and gained my purpose.
Though I admit..
Breaking silence publicly is not for everyone.
It’s not always safe.
The world can still be unkind.
Every survivor deserves to choose their own path..
Their own timeline.
Their own way to reclaim their voice.
But for me, that moment became my turning point.
And today, through The Lioness Circle,
I see that same truth reflecting again and again.
Each survivor who has entered the Circle
Whether she has shared her story loudly,
Or carried it quietly,
Has helped to confirm, validate and reinforce that truth.
It wasn’t just me.
It wasn’t my fault.
I am not alone.
There is power in that truth.
It led to me to write my memoir The Lioness Uncaged.
And now, it has grown into something even bigger.
For the first time, the lionesses has written a chapter of their own story
Together with a powerful stage Play.
These survivors chose to express their stories creatively.
“Give to Gain” is the theme this International Women’s Day.
And it makes the journey more meaningful.
Because when survivors feel ready to share their truth.
They gain something priceless in return:
Connection.
Validation.
Freedom.
When one woman shares,
It creates the path for another to hold her own.
My heart goes out to survivors everywhere
Fighting battles seen and unseen.
And to those holding systems to account,
May your truth continue to sets us all free.
Individually we survive, together we thrive ✊🏾
Ps. you are warmly welcome to join us for the Launch of the Anthology and Play
on Sunday 22nd March 2026
At a local theatre in Croydon.
We’ll gather to celebrate the courage of survivors breaking silence.
Turning pain into power.
Survival into legacy.
So, if this resonates with you,
Come along and witness what happens when survivors refuse to remain caged.
As I close, I leave this with you.
What will you give today?
and what will that gain tomorrow?
With love and light,
Founder of The Lioness Circle
Author of The Lioness Uncage
Thanks for sharing.